I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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