And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize