Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
