That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
