So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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