why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
