Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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