You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
