I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
