stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
