apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
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