take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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