At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
