I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Can I color on your dick again?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
