Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
