thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I deserve this hangover.
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