i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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