We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
