People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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