i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
