I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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