naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize