In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
