are you still at the devil's house?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
