WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
