white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We need a shit load of segways right now
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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