Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
