the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
