if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
