Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
