FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
