didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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