I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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