i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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