I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
