You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So many bounce houses so little time
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
