I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
