you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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