sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
