He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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