Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
