It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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