Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
