He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
