i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
