I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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