i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
