i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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