im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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