We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
