we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
