Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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