We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
