The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You smell like stripper and shame
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Dick very happy bro
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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