I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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