It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
