Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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