puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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