is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
