I'm really into asian looking animals
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
