Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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