and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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